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Ways to Stay Proactive for Single Muslimahs | Productive Muslim

"Our Lord, perfect for us our light and forgive us. Indeed, You are over all things competent." [Qur'an: Chapter 66, Verse 8]

We all wish to marry and settle down with a comforting partner in our lives. Especially women. They begin to hope and dream of a husband usually during their teens. The budding desire to have half our deen completed as soon as possible is quite strong in women. Women want to have a spouse who practically makes her life incredible with each passing moon, and kids who make her home a heaven. Truly, which woman wouldn't want a picture perfect family in her life?
Every female wants this dream. And with this desire, comes a pressure for many Muslim females i.e., getting married at a youthful age. That's right. While men do not deal with this pressure, many women do. The younger, the better.
On the other hand this tradition often leads towards too many low self-esteem points for single sisters out there who haven't found their other half yet and feel like they are either forever alone or forever destined to be single.
Soon, they begin to develop serious depression as they watch their friends and even younger peers get married. Many are even left feeling like their youth is wasted if they are not married while they are young.
This article is penned down as a gift and advice from one single sister for her other single single sisters out there who are feeling down and need help to see the light of iman. I hope that you can gain wisdom from this and beat the obstacles to being productive, as Islam inspires us to do.
Identify the Negative Thoughts That's Bringing You Down
The first and most foremost step is to realise the basic things that disturb you regarding your single marital status. Then using Hikmah, overcome that notion with a highly productive and halal thing in life to turn your sad days into blissful ones.
I have listed below major thoughts that come to mind and lure us towards negativity. Hunt them down, sisters - with antidotes! - before they hunt you down.

1   What good I am if am not married in youthful age?
2 Oh! What would become of me if I cross 25! I'll get even older.
3   How will I enjoy my life if I am not married soon?
4   Oh no! What would my relatives say! She finished her studies but she's still not married?!
5   Why has Allah (glorified and exalted be He) put me through this?
6   I have to hunt a husband soon or I'll be too old to get married one day.
7   Am I not pretty?
8   I am a failure.
9   Maybe I should give up the hijab!

10.  And so on.

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In this deadline-demanding, rat race society, it seems like we’re pushed to run and run everyday beyond our capacity. Suddenly, one day passes like an hour, and an hour seems like a passing mosquito. But now, instead of making stress a scary green monster that’s ready to eat you alive, we’re going to find out how to manage stress and keep it under control.

1. Address the Root Problem
What would you do if suddenly in the middle of night, your fire alarm rings? Would you switch off the alarm and go back to sleep? Of course not! You’ll search the house and try to find the source and spring into action to douse it out.
Likewise, your stress. You don’t just slap a “this too shall pass” attitude then turn on the TV comedy show to distract yourself from the problem. Stress is merely a smoke, and fanning the smoke alone won’t save your house from the fire.
Now do a quick contemplation: write down the things that stress you. Stuff you have to accomplish, including those you must do but you’re just “finding no time” to do. Just write them all down, from big stuff like “I want to publish a novel!” to something as trivial as giving your cat a bath. This is only the start. Next you’ll have to:

2. Reassess Your Priorities
The cause of stress is typically poor self management and time management. Very often, we get mixed up between which stuff needs a higher priority than others. We lack self discipline and try to do several things at once or end up switching between tasks because the others are not desirable enough to do. We end up getting lazy and procrastinate, opting to rush within the last minutes.
In one of the productivity seminars I attended, the coach inserted some pebbles to a jar. He inserted all the bigger pebbles first, then the smaller ones, then the sand, until the jar was full. He asked the participants, “What message can you get from this?”.
“You can multi-task in between your schedule”, one participant replied.
“No”, he answered. “The message is: you must prioritize your bigger goals first, the bigger pebbles. If you inserted all the sand first, or the smaller pebbles, there wouldn’t be enough room for the bigger pebbles.
“Likewise, your time. If you keep wasting it for insignificant goals, you’ll lose your valuable asset for life, and you’ll lose in the long term.
“What is your bigger goal in life? How do you treat and value your time according to it?”

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Become an active member of the ProductiveMuslim community and enrich it with your thoughts. Leave a comment at the end of this article - The Road to Homeschool Success and with it, your presence. We look forward to seeing you in the comments.

The Road to Homeschool Success | Productive Muslim

Photo by Kathryn Depew: flickr[dot]com/photos/cottonridgecreate/

"What have I gotten myself into?" If you are a homeschooling parent and find yourself pondering this question. a bit more often than not. here are 6 splendid ideas on how to help make homeschooling your kids more productive this year, In sha Allah.

1. Establish Respectful Discipline Methods

Determine how to handle misbehavior and incomplete class work and homework assignments. Many teachers eagerly confide that often the greatest difficulty with teaching is managing behavior rather than teaching the material itself.

Knowing effective ways of managing your child's misbehavior can help simplify the teaching process significantly. If you can get your child to cease talking, sit in his seat and follow along with your instructions, you will have accomplished a major part of your teaching job. There are many ways to respectfully encourage your child to comply with your directives. One remarkable way is delaying an exciting and desirable activity until the end of the class period or end of the day.

Let's say you are teaching a science class and part of the lesson is to collect an assortment of leaves from outside. Children generally enjoy participating in outdoor activities. Remind your child that if he stays seated throughout the lesson and follows along in class, the two of you will be able to complete class a few minutes early and go outside to gather the leaves. Perchance he periodically still needs reminding, let him know, casually, that whenever you have to stop the lesson to correct him, this takes away from the extra time you two might have. This discipline technique not only encourages appropriate conduct, it also teaches your child to self-manage his own behavior. You accomplish two goals in one!

It is reported the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said, "Allah did not send me to be harsh or cause harm, but he sent me to teach and make things easy." [Sahih Muslim]

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Productive Muslim - Towards a Productive Ummah!

[Productive Thinking Series - Part 4] Feel the Fear and Be Productive

Become an active member of the ProductiveMuslim community and enrich it with your thoughts. Leave a comment at the end of this article - [Productive Thinking Series - Part 4] Feel the Fear and Be Productive and with it, your presence. We look forward to seeing you in the comments.

[Productive Thinking Series - Part 4] Feel the Fear and Be Productive | Productive Muslim

This is the fourth of a series of 7 articles on 'Productive Thinking'. The series aims to address the challenges that Muslims face on many different levels when it comes to productivity. These levels include: the mental, emotional and physical levels. This series will tackle thinking and mindset on the mental level; negative emotions like anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, fear, etc., on the emotional level; and habits on the physical level. (Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3)

This article covers the underlying fears that we have when it comes to taking action and being productive. I will also share practical strategies to deal with and overcome any fears.

A few of the main challenges when it comes to productivity are procrastination, being overwhelmed and self-sabotage. Most people try to learn new systems, tools and techniques to overcome these challenges without fully understanding the challenges. In the first article, we talked about the four dimensions that we live in, namely spiritual, mental, emotional and physical. Tools and techniques are important but if we don't understand the unconscious fears that are triggering these fear responses, then we will not be as effective as we could be in doing our best to be productive.

So why are we talking about fear? It is because fear is the reason behind why we procrastinate and the underlying factor behind many things that we do to procrastinate. By understanding and having some awareness around what fear is and how fear get to us, we'll be more aware and better equipped to deal with any challenges. Awareness is the key. With awareness, change is possible.

The Nature Of Fear

• Most common fears that cause us to procrastinate are:
• Fear of failure
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of loneliness
• Fear of criticism
• Fear of making a mistake
• Fear of making the wrong decision
• Fear of unworthiness
• Fear of success
• Fear of disappointment
• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of being uncomfortable

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Muharram-Reflect,Resolve and Reclaim!

For E Islam by Sister Jasmine Khan

Muharram is one of the sacred months of the Islamic year. Muharram is the month with which we begin our lunar calendar. It commemorates the Hijrah undertaken by our beloved The Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) to Madina, where he was welcomed with sanctuary. It is one of the four sanctified months about which the Holy Quran says:

"The number of the months according to Allah is twelve (mentioned) in the Book of Allah on the day He created heavens and the earth. Among these (twelve months) there are four sanctified."(Qur’an:Surah 9, Verse 36)

These four months, according to the authentic traditions, are Dhul-Qa'dah, Dhul-Hijjah, Muharram and Rajab. All the commentators of the Holy Quran are unanimous on this point, because The Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) in his last sermon, declared: "One year consists of twelve months, of which four are sanctified months, three of them are in sequence; Dhul-Qa'dah, Dhul-Hijjah, Muharram, and the fourth is Rajab."  It is derived from the word ‘haraam’ which means forbidden. What is forbidden during this month is fighting. We are not heads of countries that wage war on others, but we have our own battle fields in our homes, families, workplace and even our neighborhoods.

Most of us live at such a frenetic pace that when we get home from work we are tired and stressed. This is the time when impatience and intolerance flares up and we fight with our partner or our children. A good thing to do is to remember who they are and what they mean to us.  With consciousness it becomes possible to think before flaring up. The same thing often happens at work as well. When we remember that we are all working to provide a service, even if we never know who benefits from what we do, it could change our attitude.

There are many of us who are not on speaking terms with family members, holding onto grudges, whether real or imagined. We should be aware that we are all different and unique, and that we are all the divine creations of Allah. Being conscious is not enough; we have to be Allah conscious, so that even if we cannot see Allah, be aware that Allah is seeing us. This should make us pause and consider before we act impulsively, or live in enmity.

The Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said that on the 10th day of Muharram we should be more generous to our family: "One who generously spends on his family on the day of Aashora, Allah will increase (his provision) for the whole year." (Hadith: Baihaqi).

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1 – On the authority of Ash‘ath ibn Qays[1], may Allah be pleased with him, he saw ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood[2] eating on the day of ‘Aashooraa, so he (Ash’ath) said to him, “Oh Abu ‘Abdur-Rahman, indeed today is ‘Aashooraa.” So he (‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood) said, “This day (‘Aashooraa) people used to fast[3], and that was before the legislation of Ramadhaan.  However, once fasting the month of Ramadhaan became obligatory; fasting the day of Aashooraa was abandoned[4].  So, if you were eating (i.e. not fasting), continue to eat.”[Muslim#1127]

2 – On the authority of ‘Aaishah[5], may Allah be pleased with her, “The Quraysh (polytheist) would fast the day of ‘Aashooraa before Islam.  The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace be upon him, would also fast ‘Aashooraa.  Once he, prayers and peace be upon him, arrived in al-Madeenah, he, prayers and peace be upon him, fasted ‘Aashooraa and commanded his companions to do the same.  However, once Ramadhaan became obligatory he, prayers and peace be upon him, said, ‘Whoever wants to fast (‘Aashooraa) then fast, and whoever doesn’t (want to fast ‘Aashooraa) then leave it off.’” [Muslim # 1125]

3 – On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas[6] , may Allah be pleased with him, “The Messenger of Allah,  prayers and peace be upon him, would fast on ‘Aashooraa, so the Companions said, ‘Oh Messenger of Allah, indeed ‘Aashooraa is a day the Jews and the Christians revere.’  So he, may prayers and peace be upon him, said, ‘Then next year we’ll fast the day before (9th of Muharram) if Allah wills’.  However, the following year, the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace be upon him, passed away.” [Muslim #1134]

4 – On the authority of Abu Qataadah[7], may Allah be pleased with him, “The Messenger of Allah, may prayers and peace be upon him, was asked about fasting on the Day of ‘Aashooraa. So he, prayers and peace be upon him said, ‘it expiates (the sins from) the previous year’” [Muslim #1162]

5 – On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, “The Messenger of Allah, may prayers and peace be upon him said, ‘Fast ‘Aashooraa and be different from the Jews in doing so.  Fast a day before (‘Aashooraa) or a day after (‘Aashooraa), and in another narration ‘Fast the day before (‘Aashooraa) and the day after (‘Aashooraa).’” [Al-Bayhaqi][8] Scholars differ on the authenticity (see footnotes)

Points of Benefit from these Narrations:[9]

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The Month of Muharram

By E Islam

INTRODUCTION

With the sighting of the new moon the Islamic New Year is ushered in. The first month Muharram, is a month of great reward and virtue. Muharram itself means `sacred' and is from those months which have been mentioned as sacred in the Holy Qur’an. Almighty Allah states in the Holy Qur’an:

"Four of them ( Zil-Qadah, Zil-Hijjah, Muharram and Rajab) are sacred."(Surah At-Tawbah:36)

From out of the four sacred months, Muharram has been blessed with certain specific virtues:- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) said: "The best of fasts besides the month of Ramadhan is the fasting of Allah's month of Muharram."(Hadith-Muslim)

"The one that keeps a fast in the month of Muharram will receive the reward of thirty fasts for each fast (in this sacred month)."(Hadith:Tabraani)

Although the fasts of the month of Muharram are not obligatory, the one who fasts in these days out of his own will and choice is entitled to a great reward by Almighty Allah.

THE DAY OF AASHORA (10TH MUHARRAM)

Although the month of Muharram is a sacred month as a whole, the 10th of Muharram is the most sacred among all its days. The day is named 'Ashurah'. It is one of the most important and blessed days of Allah Ta’ala in the Islamic calendar.

FASTING

The Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) has exhorted and encouraged his Ummah to fast on this day. He said:

"This fast is a compensation for the (minor) sins of the past year." (Hadith:Muslim)

"Observe the fast of Aashora and oppose the Jews. Fast a day before it or a day after."(Hadith:Baihaqi)

Hence, it is important to either fast on the ninth and the tenth or the tenth and the eleventh of Muharram. To fast only on the day of Aashora is Makrooh(undesirable).

BEING GENEROUS

One should be generous on one's family and dependants and spend more on them than what is normally spent.

Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) said: "One who generously spends on his family on the day of Aashora, Allah will increase (his provision) for the whole year." (Hadith:Baihaqi)

These are the actions supported by Ahadeeth. Let us observe this great Month according to the ways of Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) and the Sahabah (Radhiyallahu-Anhum), and refrain from all actions which deprive us of the blessings from Almighty Allah.

May Allah guide us all upon the Straight Path and save us from every act which brings His displeasure. …Ameen.

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Assalamu Alaykum,

Children are a test from Allah ‘azza wajal. Dealing with them in the right way can bring lasting rewards, and treating them wrongly can have a bad effect on your life and your hereafter. Bottom line: kids have a profound effect on your productivity!

Anas ibn Malik radiyallahu ‘anhu served the Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam during his youth and said: I served the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) for ten years. He never said to me ‘uff!’ And he never said about a thing I did, ‘why did you do that?’ And he never said about a thing I left, ‘why did you leave that?’ [At-Tirmidhi]Nobody likes to be forced into anything, especially not children! This week you’ll discover practical, productive ways to remind and advise little believers from the Quran and the Seerah. Let children be children and find out how to get your message across and nurture emaan in little souls.

In this week’s central ayah Allah azza wa jal instructs us: And remind, for verily reminders benefit the believers. [Quran, 51:55]

Productive Naseehah

Even though many people think tarbiyah means educating and teaching, it really means cultivating, growth and nurturing. Children have a fitrah (natural disposition) and it is our role to assist them to grow and build their emaan. Here are seven tricks on how to give children naseehah— advice— the productive way!

7 Communication Tricks

1. Change your explanation while keeping your cool.

Repetition is a very important way of getting a message across; Allah ‘azza wajal gives us many reminders in the Quran, like stories about the different nations, prophets, Paradise and Hellfire. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam would repeat his advice three times. When it comes to children the way of repetiion is key.

Do you find yourself getting tired of repeating yourself with no result? Your child heard you the first time and by repeating yourself in the same way, you are simply training her to stop listening and wait for you to get frustrated.

Action points: Balance changing your explanation while keeping your cool. There’s a beautiful example in a father whose child was drawing on the neighbors’ gate. He became angry, rebuked the child, and ordered the child to clean it. His friend then asked him if he ever sat with his child and told him about the great rights Islam granted a neighbor!

2. Positive phrases

He never said to me ‘uff!’ (an Arabic word used to express annoyance). Do you catch yourself saying “Don’t do that!” or “Stop that!” all the time?

Action points: Phrasing your request positively can make a big difference in your child’s willingness to cooperate. For example, instead of “Don’t run!” say “Walk, please.”

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Golden Key to Successful Homework Completion

A Golden Key to Successful Homework Completion | Productive Muslim

Photo by WoodleyWonderWorks: http://www.flickr. com/photos/wwworks/

“Did you do your homework?” Sound familiar? Well, it is that time of year again – school books, pencils, homework, and report cards… school is back in. If you think one of the most challenging aspects of the school year is getting your kids to do their homework timely and regularly, you are not alone. But do not fret… there is hope! Here are several things you can do to make homework time less stressful and more enjoyable this year, In sha Allah.

Initial Checks

The first thing you want to do is rule out if your child has a learning disability. Some kids do not want to do their homework because they have special learning challenges. These children may need additional instruction or one-on-one help. Your child’s teacher should be able to help you determine if your child has a learning disability.

Reward

If a learning disability is not causing your child’s lackluster homework performance, try offering him something that will be an incentive to do his homework. Using an Incentive Chart is one of the best ways to motivate your child to do something he has little desire doing.

Of course, incentive charts and rewarding children for proper behaviour have become a controversial issue as of recent. Some are of the opinion that rewarding your child for good behaviour can send the wrong message. They feel that children should behave properly simply because this is the suitable thing to do. They also contend that it can make a child dependent upon being rewarded whenever they are encouraged to behave properly. There is validity in all of these points. However, throughout the Qur’an Allah (glorified and exalted be He) reminds us often of the reward we will receive for being righteous and obeying His laws.

“But those who heed their Lord will have Gardens through which rivers flow, to live in forever as a welcome from Allah. What is with Allah is better for those who are truly good.” [Qur’an: Chapter 3, Verse 198]

“But whoever comes to Him as a believer having done righteous deeds – for those will be the highest degrees [in position]:” [Qur’an: Chapter 20, Verse 75]

Adults with their full mental faculties receive encouragement from Allah (glorified and exalted be He) to obey His rulings. Children, who are of less sound mind, can benefit from incentives, as well.

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The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.

Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often

Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.

Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam

Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.