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So often when we indulge in a conversation we somehow end up talking about someone not present among us. It’s almost unavoidable as conversations become less interesting without backbiting! It’s a term that makes us shudder, but sadly it’s a common occurrence when we fail to realize its effects.

Allah (swt) says: O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful. [Quran, 49:12]

Through this verse, we can understand the severity of the sin of backbiting. Would any one of us like to eat the flesh of a human being? Allah is saying that backbiting is equal to cannibalism.

Why? Because backbiting can cause very bad effects on an individual, family, and even on a society. Sometimes it can lead to crime. That’s why Allah has requested His servants to avoid backbiting by giving an example that is clear enough to help us understand its effects upon mankind.

‘Do you know what is backbiting?’ They (the Companions) said: ‘Allah and His Messenger (SAWS) know best. Thereupon he (the Prophet (SAWS)) said: ‘Backbiting implies your talking about your brother (behind his back) in a manner which he does not like.’ It was said to him: ‘What is your opinion about this that if I actually find (that failing) in my brother which I made a mention of?’ He (SAWS) said: ‘If (that failing) is actually found (in him) what you assert, you in fact backbited him, and if that is not in him it is a slander!’ [Muslim]

Why Backbiting?

Before knowing how to avoid it, it’s important to know why it happens. So first of all, let’s look at the five most common reasons for backbiting:

1. Jealousy : This is the main reason why people talk about others in their absence. Jealousy means envying someone’s achievements and good. So those who are jealous of someone will automatically start to find fault and convey those faults to others.

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Have you ever felt that a problem was solved or pain eased simply by changing your intention - without taking any physical action?

It is like turning on a mental switch from confusion to sanity; and such was the cherished experience I felt just a couple of weeks ago. A huge relief came from striving to tap into the great power of intention.

Why should you have sincere intentions ?

- Your actions and corresponding reward will be based on your intention.

- Intention drives you towards your goals.

- It makes you see the bigger picture beyond the temporary world.

- It helps you prioritize and find focus.

- Good intention brings rewards whether carried out or not.

All of your actions will be judged according to your intentions. This is made clear in a popular narration: ”Actions shall be judged according to intentions”. [Bukhari & Muslim]

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Pearls of Wisdom: No.36

“Food for the Soul”

Subject:  A Mercy to Humanity

Allah, The Most Exalted, says:

"And We have not sent you (Muhammad) except as a mercy to mankind" (Qur'an Al-Anbiyah 21:107)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)  was asked to curse the infidels. He said,

“I have not been sent to curse people but as a mercy to all mankind.” (Hadith-Muslim)

Note: Indeed the Last and Final Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was a Mercy to All of Humanity. His(pbuh) sublime conduct bears ample testimony to this fact. Being extremely kind-hearted, his eyes brimmed with tears at the slightest sign of inhumanity. His mercy was not confined to humankind but was extended to all of creation.

For a more detailed article on the Messenger of Allah’s(pbuh) mercy please visit : www.eislam.co.za

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1. Dress up well for one's wife:

Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men looked good to please our wives. Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasullullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use likeable names for your wife:

Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasulullah (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Recognize the good & focus on that:

Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day  which brings no attention from the husband until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. Be silent on the wrongs:

If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasullullah(sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (Radi Allahu 'anhunna). It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife:

Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasullullah(sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)  would kiss his wife before leaving for Salaah, even if he was fasting.

6. Thank her:

Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

7. Make her happy:

Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your Life.

8. Comfort her:

Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasullullah(sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (Radi Allahu 'anha)  was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous:

Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how Rasulullah (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam)  would race his wife Aisha (Radi Allahu 'anha) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Try to be the Best:

Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam): "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah (Azza wa jall) to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!

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SPENDING

If you spend (to help others), O son of Adam! I shall spend on you. (Bukhari, Muslim).

It is better for a man to give a dirham as Sadqa during his lifetime than to give a hundred at the time of his death. (Abu Dawud).

Do not consider any act of kindness insignificant, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face. (Muslim).

Sadqa given to a poor man is just Sadqa, but when given to a relative it serves a double purpose, being both Sadqa and a connecting link.(Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Nasai, Ibn Majah, Darimi).

BEGGING

He who begs the property of others to increase his own is asking only for live coals, so let him ask little as much. (Muslim).

It is better for one of you to take a rope, bring a load of firewood on his back, and sell it, God thereby preserving his self respect, than that he should beg from people whether they give him anything or refuse him. (Bukhari).

If anyone guarantees me that he will not beg from people, I will guarantee him paradise. (Abu Dawud, Nasa'i).

A person keeps on begging until he meets Allah (on the Day of Resurrection) with no flesh on his face. (Bukhari, Muslim).

Anyone who begs from people in order to increase his wealth will have his face scratched on the Day of Resurrection, and will eat burning stones from hell; so let him reduce it (his punishment) or let him increase it as he pleases. (Tirmidhi).

Begging is similar to scratching the flesh off your face; so if someone wants to save his face he should avoid it, except for asking from the ruler or asking in case of dire need. (Abu Dawud, Nisai).

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Become an active member of the ProductiveMuslim community and enrich it with your thoughts. Leave a comment on this article and with it, your presence. We look forward to reading your comments.

Productive Muslimah
Ways to Stay Proactive for Single Muslimahs | Productive Muslim

"Our Lord, perfect for us our light and forgive us. Indeed, You are over all things competent." [Qur'an: Chapter 66, Verse 8]

We all wish to marry and settle down with a comforting partner in our lives. Especially women. They begin to hope and dream of a husband usually during their teens. The budding desire to have half our deen completed as soon as possible is quite strong in women. Women want to have a spouse who practically makes her life incredible with each passing moon, and kids who make her home a heaven. Truly, which woman wouldn't want a picture perfect family in her life?
Every female wants this dream. And with this desire, comes a pressure for many Muslim females i.e., getting married at a youthful age. That's right. While men do not deal with this pressure, many women do. The younger, the better.
On the other hand this tradition often leads towards too many low self-esteem points for single sisters out there who haven't found their other half yet and feel like they are either forever alone or forever destined to be single.
Soon, they begin to develop serious depression as they watch their friends and even younger peers get married. Many are even left feeling like their youth is wasted if they are not married while they are young.
This article is penned down as a gift and advice from one single sister for her other single single sisters out there who are feeling down and need help to see the light of iman. I hope that you can gain wisdom from this and beat the obstacles to being productive, as Islam inspires us to do.
Identify the Negative Thoughts That's Bringing You Down
The first and most foremost step is to realise the basic things that disturb you regarding your single marital status. Then using Hikmah, overcome that notion with a highly productive and halal thing in life to turn your sad days into blissful ones.
I have listed below major thoughts that come to mind and lure us towards negativity. Hunt them down, sisters - with antidotes! - before they hunt you down.

1   What good I am if am not married in youthful age?
2 Oh! What would become of me if I cross 25! I'll get even older.
3   How will I enjoy my life if I am not married soon?
4   Oh no! What would my relatives say! She finished her studies but she's still not married?!
5   Why has Allah (glorified and exalted be He) put me through this?
6   I have to hunt a husband soon or I'll be too old to get married one day.
7   Am I not pretty?
8   I am a failure.
9   Maybe I should give up the hijab!

10.  And so on.

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Muharram-Reflect,Resolve and Reclaim!

For E Islam by Sister Jasmine Khan

Muharram is one of the sacred months of the Islamic year. Muharram is the month with which we begin our lunar calendar. It commemorates the Hijrah undertaken by our beloved The Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) to Madina, where he was welcomed with sanctuary. It is one of the four sanctified months about which the Holy Quran says:

"The number of the months according to Allah is twelve (mentioned) in the Book of Allah on the day He created heavens and the earth. Among these (twelve months) there are four sanctified."(Qur’an:Surah 9, Verse 36)

These four months, according to the authentic traditions, are Dhul-Qa'dah, Dhul-Hijjah, Muharram and Rajab. All the commentators of the Holy Quran are unanimous on this point, because The Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) in his last sermon, declared: "One year consists of twelve months, of which four are sanctified months, three of them are in sequence; Dhul-Qa'dah, Dhul-Hijjah, Muharram, and the fourth is Rajab."  It is derived from the word ‘haraam’ which means forbidden. What is forbidden during this month is fighting. We are not heads of countries that wage war on others, but we have our own battle fields in our homes, families, workplace and even our neighborhoods.

Most of us live at such a frenetic pace that when we get home from work we are tired and stressed. This is the time when impatience and intolerance flares up and we fight with our partner or our children. A good thing to do is to remember who they are and what they mean to us.  With consciousness it becomes possible to think before flaring up. The same thing often happens at work as well. When we remember that we are all working to provide a service, even if we never know who benefits from what we do, it could change our attitude.

There are many of us who are not on speaking terms with family members, holding onto grudges, whether real or imagined. We should be aware that we are all different and unique, and that we are all the divine creations of Allah. Being conscious is not enough; we have to be Allah conscious, so that even if we cannot see Allah, be aware that Allah is seeing us. This should make us pause and consider before we act impulsively, or live in enmity.

The Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said that on the 10th day of Muharram we should be more generous to our family: "One who generously spends on his family on the day of Aashora, Allah will increase (his provision) for the whole year." (Hadith: Baihaqi).

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Assalamu Alaykum,

Children are a test from Allah ‘azza wajal. Dealing with them in the right way can bring lasting rewards, and treating them wrongly can have a bad effect on your life and your hereafter. Bottom line: kids have a profound effect on your productivity!

Anas ibn Malik radiyallahu ‘anhu served the Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam during his youth and said: I served the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) for ten years. He never said to me ‘uff!’ And he never said about a thing I did, ‘why did you do that?’ And he never said about a thing I left, ‘why did you leave that?’ [At-Tirmidhi]Nobody likes to be forced into anything, especially not children! This week you’ll discover practical, productive ways to remind and advise little believers from the Quran and the Seerah. Let children be children and find out how to get your message across and nurture emaan in little souls.

In this week’s central ayah Allah azza wa jal instructs us: And remind, for verily reminders benefit the believers. [Quran, 51:55]

Productive Naseehah

Even though many people think tarbiyah means educating and teaching, it really means cultivating, growth and nurturing. Children have a fitrah (natural disposition) and it is our role to assist them to grow and build their emaan. Here are seven tricks on how to give children naseehah— advice— the productive way!

7 Communication Tricks

1. Change your explanation while keeping your cool.

Repetition is a very important way of getting a message across; Allah ‘azza wajal gives us many reminders in the Quran, like stories about the different nations, prophets, Paradise and Hellfire. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam would repeat his advice three times. When it comes to children the way of repetiion is key.

Do you find yourself getting tired of repeating yourself with no result? Your child heard you the first time and by repeating yourself in the same way, you are simply training her to stop listening and wait for you to get frustrated.

Action points: Balance changing your explanation while keeping your cool. There’s a beautiful example in a father whose child was drawing on the neighbors’ gate. He became angry, rebuked the child, and ordered the child to clean it. His friend then asked him if he ever sat with his child and told him about the great rights Islam granted a neighbor!

2. Positive phrases

He never said to me ‘uff!’ (an Arabic word used to express annoyance). Do you catch yourself saying “Don’t do that!” or “Stop that!” all the time?

Action points: Phrasing your request positively can make a big difference in your child’s willingness to cooperate. For example, instead of “Don’t run!” say “Walk, please.”

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Riyadh: by MD Rasooldeen (8 July 2012)

The Sri Lankan Embassy has rejected reports in Colombo claiming yesterday a Sri Lankan domestic worker has been arrested in Saudi Arabia for worshipping a statue of the Buddha.

According to the Bodu Bala Senaa, a Buddhist organization based in Colombo, it was alleged the youth, identified as Premanath Pereralage Thungasiri, was arrested by Ummul Hamam police for worshiping the statue inside his home. It was alleged in the report Saudi authorities were planning to execute him.