Wednesday, July 17, 2019
   
Text Size

Follow SLMuslims on


 

Latest News

  • New Zealand cabinet agrees on tougher gun laws in principle: PM
    NEWS / ASIA PACIFIC New Zealand cabinet agrees on tougher gun laws in principle: PM Jacinda Ardern also announces an inquiry into Christchurch mosque attacks...
    Read More...
  • NW Masjid Attack
     
    Media captionJacinda Ardern: "This can only be described as a terrorist attack"   Forty people have been killed and more than 20 wounded in shootings at two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand. Australian prime minister Scott Morrison described the gunman, who had Australian citizenship, as an "extremist, right-wing" terrorist. Four people - three men and one woman - were in custody in connection with the shooting, New Zealand police said. New Zealand prime minister Jacinda Ardern called it one of New Zealand's darkest days". What do we know at this point? New Zealand police commissioner Mike Bush confirmed that "multiple fatalities" were recorded at two locations. The first report of an attack came from the Al Noor mosque, located in central Christchurch. Witnesses...
    Read More...
  • New Zealand: Dozens killed in 'terrorist' attack on two mosques
    Gunmen kill at least 49 people during Friday prayers at two mosques in Christchurch in the country's worst ever attack. 3 minutes ago Ambulance staff take a wounded man from outside the mosque in central Christchurch on Friday [Mark Baker/AP] Forty nine people have been killed and at least 20 others injured in shootings...
    Read More...
  • The Miracle of the Quran
    As Salaamu Alaikum Warahmatulaahi Wabarakatuhu. We are now on instagram. You can follow us @islaaminfo. or https://instagram.com/islaaminfo/ Jazakallahu Khairan. Was Salaamu Alaikum By Khalid Baig ‘... For only then we truly live. Otherwise we only pretend to live….’ It happened at an international inter-faith conference. The organizers decided to end the conference with readings from the scriptures of major religions, done by followers of other religions. As it happened, an Arab Christian read a passage from the Qur’aan. He was a good reciter. Every one seemed to be moved by his heart-rending reading, including the reciter himself....
    Read More...
  • THE DESIGN OF THE WOODPECKER
    As we all know, woodpeckers build their nests by boring holes in tree trunks with their beaks. This may sound familiar to most people. But the point many people fail to examine is why woodpeckers suffer no brain haemorrhage when they beat a tattoo so vigorously with their heads. What the woodpecker does is in a way similar to a human being driving a nail into the wall with his head. If a man ventured to do something like that, he would probably undergo a brain shock followed by a brain haemorrhage. However, a woodpecker can peck a hard tree trunk 38-43 times in just two or three seconds and nothing happens to it.(1)   Nothing happens because the head structure of woodpeckers is ideally created for such a task. The skull of the woodpecker has a remarkable suspension system that absorbs the force of the blows. Its forehead and some skull...
    Read More...
  • Daily Anti-Depressant
    Many people are under the misconception that an increase in wealth will lead to an increase in happiness. However, this could not be further from the truth, as depression affects people across all income-brackets and from all walks of life. The severity of depression can perhaps be gauged by the fact that according to statistics, in South Africa alone, there are approximately twenty-three known suicides a day! Islam has given us a simple, free prescription that has no unwanted side effects and is incomparable in combating depression. In this regard, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) taught us that we should always look at those who are less fortunate than ourselves (Saheeh Muslim #7428). In doing so, we will realize how many bounties we enjoy for which we should be thankful and how fortunate we really are. Hence, we...
    Read More...
  • Why we need good friends..
    A well know Arabic saying advises, “Don’t talk about a person. Ask about his companions.” This simply means that if you want to enquire about a person — about his character, what are his habits, is he responsible, etc., then do not enquire specifically about him. Instead enquire about the company he keeps. If he keeps good company, insha-Allah he will be likewise a good and upright person. On the contrary if he remains in the company of people accustomed to sin and vice or people of low character and morals, he will generally be judged accordingly. Musk Seller Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has emphasized upon us to always maintain good company. He is reported to have said: “A person follows the way of his friend, therefore beware of who you befriend!” (Sunan Abi Dawood #4833) In another hadeeth a good friend...
    Read More...
  • In the year 2119…
    In the year 2119, in just 100 years from now, every single reader of this piece will be underground, our bodies having become part of the soil. During that time, our fate with respect to paradise or hell would have been made known to us.   Meanwhile above the soil, our houses that were left behind would have become homes for others, our clothes would have become garments for others, our cars will be driven by others, and as for us, we will be – for the most part – never thought about by anyone again. How often do you think about your great grandfather? How often does your great grandmother cross your mind?   Our presence here on earth today, that presence that we make so much noise about and shed so many tears for, was preceded by countless generations before us and shall be followed by countless generations after us....
    Read More...
  • MR to resign tomorrow - Namal
    Former President Mahinda Rajapaksa, who was recently appointed as the Prime Minister by President Maithripala Sirisena has decided to resign from the premiership tomorrow after a special statement, MP Namal Rajapaksa tweeted a short while ago.  
    http://www.dailymirror.lk/article/MR-to-resign-tomorrow-Namal-159811.html Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus.
    Read More...
  • SC leaves grant to proceed with Mahinda’s appeal
    The Supreme Court has decided to take up the appeal of Mahinda Rajapaksa against the interim order of the Court of Appeal on the premiership on the 16th, 17th and 18th of January 2019. However, the request of the petitioners for a stay order on the interim order restraining Mahinda Rajapaksa from holding office of Prime Minister and his Cabinet from functioning has been unanimously rejected by the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court has also ordered the Appeal Court not to hear the petition against Mahinda Rajapaksa and the Cabinet holding office, until the Supreme Court hearing is over. The Court informed the parties that if they wish the petition to be heard before a five-member judge bench, they should refer the request to the Chief Justice. Justice Eva Wanasundera, who was a part of the three-judge panel which considered the appeal...
    Read More...
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage

Local

User Rating: / 7
PoorBest 

The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.

Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often

Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.

Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam

Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.

 

Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations

Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.

Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse

Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)

Be Your Mate's Best Friend

Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.

Spend Quality Time Together

It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.

Express Feelings Often

This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.

Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness

Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.

Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past

It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.

Surprise Each Other at Times

This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.

Have a Sense of Humour

This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.

Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements:

Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.

Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.

Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.

If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.

 

 

Login Form